It's just a bad day, not a bad Life.

You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now

You wake up every morning and ask yourself

What am I doing here anyway

With the weight of all those disappointments

Whispering in your ear

You're just barely hanging by a thread

You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath

And you don't know it yet

But down the road the sun is shining

In every cloud there's a silver lining

Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)

And every heartache makes you stronger

But it won't be much longer

You'll find love, you'll find peace

And the you you're meant to be

I know right now that's not the way you feel

But one day you will - Lady Antebellum "One Day You Will"

"Life isn't meant to be easy, it's meant to be lived... sometimes happy, other times rough. But with every up and down, you learn lessons that make you strong."

"Maybe you don't like your job, maybe you didn't get enough sleep. Well, nobody likes their job, nobody got enough sleep. Maybe you just had the worst day of your life, but you know, there's no escape and there's no excuse, so just suck it up and be nice." - Ani DiFranco

Don't let a bad day make you feel like you have  bad life. Without bad days, how would you be able to know what a good day is like? You have to believe that when things are bad, You can change them. So be grateful about your bad day, it means that a good day is just around the corner. Com'on SMILE :)

The Painful Truth

It really hurts to know the truth, but I hate being lied to.

I know 'maybe' he doesn’t wanna lie to me, but I already knew this truth by myself, that he didn’t really want me before. Actually he liked some other girl who more beautiful than me like his friend ever said. iuuu!

He met me then he made me fall on him, then he met other girl that he like 100x more than me, but he's just already let me fall on him. He messed it up. So just because he didn't want to break my heart, we are in relationship now. How pity I am...

This is what I really hate about relationship, knowing that fcking painful truth in the middle of my happiness being with him. 

I've thought that he's not good for me from the beginning. But my best friends don’t really agree about that, they wanted me to try to a litlle bit care with him. Hellyeah, I tried and finally I've fallen in love with him, the most terrible thing that I don’t want to feel before.

I probably shouldn't say this but this times I get so scared when I think about the previous relationship we shared. It was awesome, but will we lose it? It's not possible for me to not to care, because I really dont want to lose him.

Eventhough he’s with me now and we’re loving each other (I believe on it), but it just so sick knowing the truth. I hate you, oh you! He's vain, his games, he's insecure. His friends, they're jerks. He loves me, he likes her. He makes me laugh then he makes me cry :(

and The greatest thing I hate the most that he does, He makes me love him.

ok, I'll text him and Let's be clear.

Gotta Change!

Tahun 2012 baru aja dimulai tapi hal-hal yang suram udah banyak terjadi terutama masalah kuliah. IP aku turun 1,.. hebat yaa. Memang seperti yang udah aku prediksikan, hhuu. 

Jelas sedih awalnya, kalau habis lihat KHS pasti nangis. Tapi sekarang udah capek nangisnya, ga mau nangis karena itu lagi. Lagian mau capek2 nangis juga nilai di KHS ga akan berubah. But sometimes I just need to cry for no good reason at all, it just makes everything better. Alhamdulillah orang-orang terdekat semua ngasih support dan nasihat2 yang baik. Love you all deh :*

Belajar dari pengalaman, Supaya hal ini ga berulang lagi, aku mesti melakukan perubahan, perubahan ke arah yang lebih baik pastinya. Jadi untuk semester ke depan aku harus selalu masuk kuliah. Aku harus mendengarkan dengan baik ketika si dosen mengajar. Pokoknya aku harus tetap datang dan mendengarkan kecuali kalau sakit parah atau ada kepentingan lain yang harus dilakukan.

Kenapa harus selalu datang kuliah? Karena, dari perkuliahan pasti kita akan dapat kisi-kisi ujian. Caranya dengan memperhatikan kebiasaan dosen. Ada dosen yang secara blak-blakan bilang “Ini akan masuk pas ujian ya, jadi pelajari betul-betul!”. Tapi ada juga dosen yang secara tersirat bilang “Ini penting!”. Atau ada suatu bahan yang penjelasannya selalu diulang-ulang, biasanya yang kayak gitu akan keluar pas ujian. Kemudian, harus mengerjakan semua tugas yang diberikan. Fotokopi semua soal dan jawaban tugas itu. Dengan begitu, kita akan mendapatkan bahan yang harus kita pelajari baik-baik, yang lain-lain dipelajari juga tapi nggak usah seintensif yang penting itu. Selain itu, dengan kehadiran di kelas dan mendengarkan dengan baik, kita pasti akan paham tentang matakuliah yang sedang kita pelajari tersebut. Walaupun Cuma sedikiiit, itu pasti akan membantu saat belajar menjelang ujian. Aku juga harus mencatat bahan-bahan yang penting untuk dipelajari lagi nantinya.

Nggak boleh terlalu stress. Aku baru menyadari bahwa di semester sebelumnya aku sudah terlalu stress menjelang ujian sehingga nilai aku malah anjlok! Nah, cara untuk mengindari stress adalah “jangan belajar dengan sistem kebut semalam!” Ini malah bikin otak penuh nggak karuan. Paling nggak dengan selalu hadir dan mendengarkan di dalam kelas, nggak akan ada yang namanya sistem kebut semalam. Kunci lain agar tidak stress adalah hilangkan pertanyaan-pertanyaan nggak penting yang memicu stress seperti, “Duh, besok aku bisa nggak yaa?”, “Apa ya soal yang bakal keluar?”, “Kira-kira aku bisa ingat ini semua nggak ya?”, dan lain sebagainya. Semakin banyak hal-hal yang nggak penting ada di pikiran, semakin sempit ruang di otak untuk hal-hal yang penting. Harus optimis dengan apa yang sudah dipelajari dan dipahami.

Nggak boleh lupa untuk berdoa, agar usaha yang udah dilakukan nantinya nggak sia-sia dan mesti tawakal juga. Bagaimana pun hasilnya, itu yang terbaik. Kalau dapat nilai bagus Alhamdulillah. Kalau dapat nilai buruk berarti masih ada yang harus diperbaiki.

“Jangan putus asa meskipun kamu berulang-kali gagal atau meskipun kamu berulang kali ditinggal oleh teman-temanmu. Percayalah bahwa pasti ada hikmah dari segala sesuatu. Percayalah bahwa kegagalan itu adalah jalan untuk membuatmu lebih kuat, atau buatlah kegagalan itu sebagai sesuatu yang membuatmu lebih tahan banting dari pada orang lain.”

Awal masuk kuliah semester genap masih 10 hari lagi. Harus benar-benar berusaha dan berfikir positif juga supaya di semester 4 dan  selanjutnya nanti, semuanya bisa lebih baik. no more D and E, no more crying! 

@#$%^&*

I'm exactly crazy right now!

I feel like I don't want to meet anyone.

I can't believe that they can give me that f*cking final score easily.

Didn't they think that I can commit suicide because of this crazy thing?

I came to campus, I did the exercise, I faced all of quiz, midterms, and final exam BUT what I got is not appropriate as what I did.
what a life!

I've tired of crying all of these. I've tried to not crying, but it really hurt me.

Mommy, I really don't want to stay at this faculty anymore, like I've said last semester. Kill me or Get me out of this!

Happy Birthday to Me :')

Hello everyone, It's my Birthday!

I am happy to turn 18 (or some people say, to be 19) because I am surrounded with beloved family and friends each year. It has been great year for me, experiences up and down and grew a lot.

Do you guys remember as a child, you would have so many things to wish for? As I've gotten older, I've realised there's nothing I would want to wish for except for good health and happiness for myself and everyone who loves me.

I want to say a HUGE thank you to everybody who sent me birthday wishes. I'm so so touched. Thank you so much guys. I woke up this morning with a huge smile on my face.

I hoped that he was the first people who said happy birthday to me, but he even forgot my birthday. I felt so bad because he has been so busy with his college final task. I don’t wanna blame him, I do love him. Moreover, I just feel really happy to have such wonderful people in my life. My family and friends are always here and wishes all the best for me. You all absolutely made my birthday one of the most memorable ones for my lifetime :)

So my birthday will officially be over in about 60 minutes. but you know, birthday is just a birthday. When you're happy, it's like birthday everyday anyway.

Thank you again for your birthday wishes once again. I'll be going to bed with a big big cheesy smile on my face *BIG hugs* This is greedy but I hope next year you guys can still be here to wish me happy birthday >.< hehee...

Good night World! ♥