I won't waste my time, Let's move on!

 

“Dear Heart,

I'm sorry, I once again fell for someone that doesn't like me back.

You can feel free to break anytime now.

This time, I'm ready for it...”

I used to think that when you're in love, you'd hear the birds singing but the only thing I heard was the hollow echo in my being. I thought the sky would turn blue but it turned gray and rained on me. I thought that my eyes would be sparkling with joy but it only glistened with the tears.

Why do we have to love someone who could never love us back? I'm not saying that love is a bad thing, it never is. What's bad is when you fall in love and the person does not really fall in love back.

I was not born to insist myself to someone who doesn't want me. I give love, yes I do, in fact I easily fall for someone who makes me feel special. But when I sense that that person is starting to get rid of me, I won't waste my time.

I can't say I'm proud of my life, but I can say I'm proud that I've learned. I've learned that I can't rely on everyone, but I can't let everyone to hurt me. I know some things don't work out, but I know everything that has been is for something better. I can't guarantee I'll be able to walk around with a smile, but I know where I've been and where I'm going. I know who I am and who my friends are. I'm not here to complain so I'll keep trying and hopefully in the end I'll know that I did my best.

Maybe I have failed more often than I have succeeded but I can pick myself up, hold my head high and move forward because I'm telling you that from this great fall, I've through a long way and I love my life now more than like I did yesterday.

I wish I can forget the pain
I wish I can forget the people who hurt me
I wish I can forget the bitterness
I wish I can fully let go
I wish I can move on
I wish I am that strong as I thought I am
I wish I can be free
I wish I am not scared
I wish I can fully forgive
I wish I can love again
I wish someone will love me
I wish for happiness
I wish I can make it through the end 
I wish I can
I wish. 

Baby I'm not a Monster!

1 bulan tanpa kamu, sekarang perasaan itu udah mulai menghilang, bahkan kadang aku merasa udah berganti menjadi benci. Sungguh nggak tau gimana mendeskripsikan gimana rasa sakitnya ditinggalin orang yang aku sayang secara tiba-tiba. Padahal terakhir ketemu kita masih baik-baik aja, masih bisa mesra-mesraan. Aneh memang!

Kamu bilang kalau walaupun kita udah nggak in relationship lagi, tapi kamu maunya kita tetap temenan. Tapi sikap kamu sama sekali nggak mencerminkan orang yang mau temenan. kamu nggak pernah hubungin aku lagi. Emang bener kalau perkataan kamu itu nggak sesuai sama sikap kamu!

Seumur hidup aku baru pertama kali ketemu sama orang yang benar-benar jahat sama aku, itulah kamu. Rasanya pengen hilang semua ingatan tentang kamu, pengen merasa kalau kita nggak pernah kenal, yang kayak kamu lakuin sekarang. Aku muak melihat tingkah kamu yang kayak gitu. Di kamu semua yang udah kita laluin macam nggak berarti apa-apa. Makanya aku putusin untuk menghapus semua tentang kamu, entah ini baik atau engga, tapi aku udah males aja kalau lihat sikap kamu itu!

Btw lagu barunya Big Bang yang Monster itu aku banget looo, sekarang juga lagi nggak bosen-bosennya dengar lagu ini :D

I love you, baby I'm not a monster

You know the old me, When the time passes, I will have to disappear, 

You’ll know then baby

I need you, baby I’m not a monster

You know me, It ends, but if you leave me like this, I will die

I’m not a monster.

Big Bag is Daebak!! :*