Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Strong motivation needed. Help!



I'm starting to break my own rules, I was regret about this, sometimes. Aku mulai malas kuliah, lagi. Apalagi kalau ada orderan yang kejar tayang. Tapi kadang pun kalau nggak ada orderan, atau masih ada waktu untuk bikinnya aku malah malas-malasan di rumah di jam kuliah. Aku mulai kesusahan bangun pagi karena malamnya sering tidur telat. Nggak ada semangat untuk ke kampus pun, apalagi dengan jurusan ini. Sekarang malah enak-enakan malas-malasan nanti kalau udah keluar hasilnya malah sakit-sakitan menyesalinya, huhuu.

Kadang aku semangat ke kampus itu kalau lagi pengen lihat orang yang aku suka, atau perginya bareng pacar, hohoooy. Tapi sekarang kayaknya lagi susah suka sama orang dan pacar pun makin nggak jelas, sorry to say. Dulunya aku pengen cepat tamat kuliah dan dapat kerjaan, tapi karena sekarang aku udah mulai bisa nyari uang sendiri yaa beginilah jadinya. Niat untuk jadi mahasiswi yang baik pun udah mulai memudar. Sekarang alasan aku kuliah itu cuma untuk dapat gelar sarjana dan menghargai kerja kerasnya orang tua yang udah biayain kuliahnya aku. Tapi kalau gini terus takutnya malah ngecewain mereka. Good girl gone bad :c

Entah kenapa aku merasa kalau tujuan hidup mulai nggak jelas, ngak terfokus. Kalau pas masih jadi mahasiswi baru dulu aku punya target IP mesti > 2.75 sekarang malah out of target. Aku juga pengen punya partner yang baik menurut aku, yang nggak bikin hidup yang udah complicated ini jadi makin complicated, nggak nambahin beban pikiran, nggak... ah aku pun udah mulai linglung dengan my love story, senang-senang dua hari, makan hati seminggu, baik-baik tiga hari, saling nyuekin lima hari, dan begitu2 aja seterusnya entah sampai kapan. 

Lanjut segan, putus tak mau. Don't know what to do lah.

I really need motivation untuk memperjelas lagi arah hidup yang nggak karuan ini dan berusaha untuk menempuh jalan yang benar untuk mencapai target yang besar, tamat kuliah tahun 2015 dan menikah di umur 23, huahahaa...

Semogalah.
Sunday, April 8, 2012

wherever you go, I'll keep following you.


It's so creepy to think what I feel about you lately. It's full of emotion. Love, hate, happy, sad, upset, furious, miserable, and so much more. A single day without your news can drive me crazy. What I can do is just stalking you on social media. It makes me sick knowing that you prefer to reply other girls comments or messages rather than to text me. Everyone is busy with their work, not just you, but when you're busy with yours, you don't even remember me, I thought. I cried for you stupidly. 

When I taught you about what I feel, bad feeling, you'll always respond it simply. I wish I could be like that too. Don't know it's good or not but I think it feels good to feel that kinda feeling. "We're still young, just enjoy it. Don't be too tied with our relationship status, we're not married yet, then if we're married we'll deal with our real life, full of responsibility." you said. Yeah, maybe from now I'll try to be that kinda person, just like you, not to raise the little issues, not lebay, not selfish, no to take so seriously anything that's not important, and so on.

Even though most of all is such an unhappy feeling that sometimes makes me don't wanna stay anymore, but when I saw you what I can feel is just don't wanna lose you. When I heard that the one you love is just me, all of bad feeling, negative thoughts, doubts was disappear. That's what always makes me wanna be beside you. wherever you go, I'll keep following you. 
Saturday, April 7, 2012

Moments with you ♥♥



Since you've been here, my life has changed. You have taught me   many things I would have never imagined before. You give me  faith, love, and sorrow, anytimes. I love all the moments we have created. I thought all I want is just being with you. Somehow, we can’t be together all the times. We have our own activies to do. But now I really miss the moment with you.

I miss that moment when you hold my hand and hug me tight in your warmness bosom.
I miss that moment when you text me and tell that "I love you and I miss you".
I miss that moment when you phone me just because you wanna ask how am I today.
I miss that moment when you share your story with me.
I miss that moment when you suddenly come to my home and take me out.
I miss that moment when we go to campus and go home together.
I miss that moment when we go out, leave our city just only to see the straight road, mount, or beach and sea.
I miss that moment when we go out at night, have dinner, and through a lonely road.
I miss that moment when we hangout together with my friends, eat some roasted corn, fried noodles, or just take some photos.

I miss everymoment with u, and I hope you're here with me. And at this moment I'm missing that moment with you so crazily.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Vintage Inspiration




It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart without saying a word you can light up the dark try as I may, I can never explain what I hear when you don’t say a thing...