Monday, October 22, 2012

. . .

It's always difficult to start to write about my random feelings, but I really wanna share it here, on my beloved blog, unless it can ease my mind.

Let me tell about an awkward moment that I've been feeling lately on my college. It looks like some friends has changed. I know why they're become like that, as I become a lazy girl who  rarely came to campus and hanging out with them. What I did is just come to campus, listen to lecturer and make some note when I'm in a good mood to learn, and when the class is over I go home or somewhere, leaving campus. Customers order is waiting for me, as you know.

But it become so creepy lately, I'm getting lazy for college not because I have to rush the order, but because I'm afraid to face my friends statements or something kinda veiled judgement for me. Such as tumben kuliah, sehh rajin, wah rupanya ada belajar qe yaa... Although maybe it's just  a joke, but sometimes it hurts my heart so deep. Whereas I have been considered them as my closest friend on campus. For example in case, if we had to make a group by two person, I'm one of those person who didn't know with whom to make. It seems like no one wanna be my friend in group, poor me. I'm extremely depressed thinking of this, I was crying on the way home yesterday, yeah I'm still so whiny.

I really don't wanna feel this way anymore, I had to choose college as my first needs now, and they're included on that. Hopefully it would be better tomorrow and the next day, I no longer feel offended because of that usual statements, actually.